Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
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