This is not my ceiling
Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
