Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
