her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
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