No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
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