well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
