so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Randomize
