It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Randomize
