just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
