Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize