Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
