So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
