The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
