i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
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