That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
Randomize
