My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Randomize
