What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
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