I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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