Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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