good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Randomize
