when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
