idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Randomize
