dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
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