she looked like the before picture.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
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