In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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