I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
Randomize
