it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
Randomize
