Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
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