My balls are so social today.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
