She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
