I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
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