Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize
