so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
