More tranny stories later!
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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