You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
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