could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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