hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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