I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
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