girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Randomize
