so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
he's single and there are thong briefs.
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
Randomize
