are you still at the devil's house?
Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
