you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
