There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
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