Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
I cut my penus on the lid.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Randomize
