just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
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