so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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