Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
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