Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
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