We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize