I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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