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this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Randomize