I didn't shave. On purpose
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
Randomize
