You can't motorboat a personality
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
