I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
