You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
Randomize
