Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Randomize
