Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Verdict: uncircumcised.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
