I need help removing her.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
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