Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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