my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Randomize
