is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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