Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
Randomize
