Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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