Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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