her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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