my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
This toilet bowl is my home.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize
