She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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