Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
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