what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
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