I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
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