Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
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